i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
