I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Girls should come with a carfax report
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
