I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
