When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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