i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
