Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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