I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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