I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize