Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How naked do you want me to be?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
