why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
