sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Couch. On fire.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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