bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize