If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
