I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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