Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
