Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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