Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize