who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize