Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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