Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
