the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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