Well apparently he's into motor boating.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize