Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
