I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
