Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Panties = found
Randomize
