In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
