I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize