Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you win again, gameday.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
