There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
