Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
