I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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