We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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