C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize