hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
