am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize