Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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