I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
