Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
