And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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