The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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