No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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