I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
