so let's talk penis.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
