Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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