ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
