ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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