I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize