Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
