No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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