forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
