I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
