I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
