i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
