Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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