Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
