i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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