and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
