dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You can't motorboat a personality
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
