Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
