Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize