come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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