I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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