Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
