i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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