i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
