he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
