She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
