Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
