Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
