I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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