direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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