All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
